Neptunia on Fanfiction
by Zergface
Summary: It's become epidemic. Trashy fanfiction has taken over all of Gamindustryyyy and there's nothing the world can do to stop it. Well, unless OC #017263 has anything to say about it!


**I took a break from writing and read some things on the HDN fanfiction archive. This is a summary of what I have seen. Please for the love of all things good in the world, please read.**

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Timmy is the worst person ever, he bullied me at school, which is why eric "endlessfire" dragonblade went to destroy him once and for all. Enrolled in the prestigious Doggo school for gifted dogoos, Eric "silentlance" deathweaver was at the top of his class, being a Bidimensional Doggo man after all.

Timmy was just a normal doggoo, but every day timmy made fun of eric for being so tall and having a really muscular body. This wasn't okay at all. Today at recess he would've sliced him into a million pieces given the chance, but today was a special day.

No, not the day that he had enough of Timmy, (well actually yes but due to the demonfire helmet's power he couldn't act without a 2 hour warning), but it was a special day because it was special. And because all the CPUs of Gamindustryy were coming to visit this special school.

So for major advanced physics class AAA eric "endlessfire" dragonblade was ready for anything, even a dumb stupid lecture from professor AtomicOperationIraqiFreedomMaster027.

Being the normal guy he was, eric sat in the back of the classroom and pulled his fedora down over his spiky red hair and tugged the base of his black with red stripes hoodie, plugging in his earbuds playing his favorite song. Evanescence - Wake me up Inside.

"Eric Endlessfire Dragonblade!" Professor called out as class begun.

Eric groaned, pulling out one of his earbuds. "What is it 'teach?"

"Since you're the star student, can you go out to the main office and help our guests around the school?" Professor asked.

All the students glared at Eric Silentlance Deathweaver, snickering at him. Especially Timmy, who pushed up his thick rimmed glasses.

"Haw haw! Eric has to do the work again!" They all chanted with Timmy taking the lead.

 _I'll get you Timmy!_ Eric thought as he walked out of the room and to the main office.

They always did this to him. It wasn't fair that he had to do all the extra work! But he had to do it, in honor of his friends that died in the most recent attack on the school. He grit his teeth, clenching his fists as he walked into the office.

"Woah!" Eric gasped as he collided with a purple haired girl.

They fell over and onto the floor, and Eric endlessfire dragonblade shook his head around. What just happened?

"Wowza!" The girl said. "It's supposed to be Vert who gets this treatment, but I'm not complaining!"

"Gaspers!" Eric gasped. "You're- you're-"

"Yes siree! Neptune, at your service!" She winked, pushing herself closer to him.

"Why are you…" Eric looked down at himself grabbing her boobs. "AHHHHH!" He screamed, throwing his hand away.

Then he got up screaming.

The three other CPUs through their heads in and laughed.

Then Eric guided them to an occupied environmental science classroom were they all had wild, wild sex. So wild that Jeb Bush would die of aids because of how much disgusting stuff was flying around everywhere.

Then Eric walked out of the room and into the hall, surrounded by four naked women.

But just then, Timmy walked down the hall, spotting Eric.

"Gee, Eric endlessfire Dragonblade," Timmy taunted. "I always knew you were gay, hanging around girls and all!"

"Die Timmy!" Eric Silentlance Deathweaver shouted, materializing his axe of death fire and destruction that was forged in the blood of a thousand men. He jumped forwards, axe in the air.

"God Kill!" He screamed, swiping his axe around. Timmy blew into the wall opposite the four goddesses.

"Quebec Thrust!" Eric thrust his axe forwards, gutting Timmy and blowing a hole in the wall.

Then Eric Endlessfire Dragonblade released his God form, sprouting black wings and had fire clawing out of his hair. He jumped out of the building, flexing his muscles as Neptune and Noire hung onto his biceps.

Vert and Blanc transformed and flew beside him as they flew into the sunset, the final boss defeated at last.

The end

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 **In case you've written an oc self-insert wish-fulfillment fic on the HDN site, I'd like to be the person that reveals to you that yes, in fact, this is satirical and represents all the literal filth that has plagued HDN's fanfiction site for so, so long.**

 **If you have ever read your own story at least once, you can skip this part and have a wonderful day.**

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 **TIPS TO ALL YOU FOLK** **ON FANFICTION, COMPILED FROM SEVERAL PEOPLE ( NOT JUST ME)**

 **1.** **Don't do a self insert, ever- it gives you god powers**

 **2\. don't be an overpowered asshole**

 **3\. shadow the hedgehog is the definition of edgy, if your oc resembles him he is shit**

 ** is shit**

 **5\. st** **op making shit fanfiction, you make me want to leave this site for being** **associated to you**

 **Like seriously, please care** **and actually make your story not seem like a regurgitated piece of crap that anyone else could've written, a little bit of uniqueness goes a long, long way**

 **And being edgy doesn't make you unique, it makes you an asshole- doesn't matter what disorders or whatever you have,** **potato potato tomato tomato.**

 **As I part with you, just don't make shit on fanfiction. Stay in school or whatever. Your story reflects like all the writers on this site,  including me. **


End file.
